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My guest today is Zoe Readhead Neill. The principal of Summerhill – the oldest democratic school in the world and an author of a recently published book ‘Barefoot in November’ Parenting the Summerhill way.
We’re going to talk about questions that future parents should ask themselves, the difference between punishment and justice and finally I’m going to ask Zoe why she decided to call some kids ‘spoilt brats’ Enjoy!!!
1) I always start my interviews by asking guests to share how things are going on right now? I’d love you to share how are you doing right now? What are you into? Things like that…
2) Before we start talking about the book itself I really need to ask you about the title. It’s my personal life’s goal to spend as much time as possible barefoot. So I’ve got to ask you, Why just in November?
3) Why did you choose to write a book for parents?
4) A recent research shows that about 13% of parents I Poland regret the decision of becoming a parent. You offer some advice to parents but even more importantly you suggest some questions that future parents could/should ask themselves if they want to avoid such regrets. Which of them is the most important in your opinion?
5) Even if we ask ourselves all those questions, the fact is that we cannot learn how to be a parent before we become one. As a result we’re doomed to make mistakes. You wrote in your book that we’re not very good at admitting that we’ve made a bad decision/choice in child-rearing? Why is it so hard?
6) I’m both a parent and an adult working with kids in a democratic school. I was quite surprised how you distinguish between the things that work at Summerhill but you would not recommend that parents do with their own kids. Why and how are the two environments different?
7) I think that the most surprising bit… And correct me if I’m wrong, had to do with controlling emotions. The way I understood it, is that you expect adults especially professionals to control their fears, anxieties even anger. Your advice is that, if for some reason it bursts out of control, don’t discus, don’t analyze or explain it but let go and move on. I have to say that this quite the opposite of what I usually do. But… when I asked my kids what they think about the idea. They said: Well da! We were telling you about it like a million times. Why is it better to not talk?
8) Another thing that takes place at Summerhill but you don’t recommend that parents do at home is punishment. I’m not going to go back to the conversation on how bad punishing kids is. I’d like to look at it from a different perspective. After reading your book and giving it some thought I figured out that the punishment in Summerhill is sort of ’depersonalized’. Person who is punished doesn’t have anyone to be mad at, or seek revenge from… It’s sort of automatic. You do something that is against the rules, and as a result you’re punished. No explanation needed. But how is it supposed to work at home? If there’s no punishment and no talk… How is the child supposed know that what he/she did was wrong?
9) The last thing that I wanted to ask you about is the expression ‘spoilt brat’ that hit the headlines. Why did you decide to use those words? You tell wonderful stories about kids whose parents weren’t doing a very good job and who did not have a chance to learn how to satisfy their needs without hurting other people. But also how quickly they learned the skill at Summerhill. Why did you decide to use this particular expression.
10) Thank you. One final question. When is your book going to be published in Polish?
You can get the book here: https://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/shop/p/barefootinnovemberparentingthesummerhillway
Jest to odcinek podkastu:
PORA NA PODCAST - Homeschooling po polsku.
Homeschooling, edukacja demokratyczna, szkoły sportowe, unschooling, grupy wyznaniowe.
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